Henry Roy (Vol.3)

4.  Henry is high class.  He doesn't sleep in sh!t filled diapers.

There was probably a better way to write that but I chose to go low brow.  So, yeah.  Henry is now a week away from being five months old.  He has been eating solids for 3 weeks and loving it.  There have been several people say, "Oh once he starts eating solid foods, he will sleep through the night."  I get it.  More solid foods in his stomach.  He will be less hungry during the night and therefore sleep through the night.  Well, people....you are wrong!  One thing people don't realize is that King Henry is royalty.  Only peasants and lower class babies sleep with filthy diapers on.  I will paint a picture so that you can wrap your feeble mind around.  More solid foods that go in the mouth of King Henry = more solid waste that comes out of a royal body part that will not be mentioned.  Comprende?  After this happens at 11pm and 2am, the King politely informs us that he must be changed before going back to bed.

5. He changes daily.

One thing that still gets me is how much Henry has changed in under 5 months.  He has basically tripled in size.  He can now intentionally grab toys that are in front of him.  I say "intentionally", because for the past 2 months anything his hands touch, he will automatically grab it.  Supposedly, he has rolled over on three different occasions at his daycare.  We have yet to witness this magical event.  As each day flies by, he is making noises and sounds.  Usually after we make him smile or laugh.  Or when he is talking to his bugs.  We have 2 colorful metal bugs that are attached to springs (which were then attached to the ceiling by an amazing handyman, successful home brewer and extremely well recieved bloggerista (is that a word (also, would that be referring to a female blogger (if that does mean female blogger then it must be a typo)?)?)).  These BUGS dangle and bounce over the changing table.  Henry likes to converse with them while we change him.  I hope he doesn't continue this when he is older.  He may grow up to be one of those people that like to talk to you while you are standing at the urinal.  WEIRD! 

INT - MEN'S PUBLIC RESTROOM - DAYTIME
Martin Roy is using the urinal.  A stranger walks into the bathroom and uses the urinal next to Martin.

STRANGER

Hey, did you see that game last night?  What a great game.  I cannot believe we pulled out the win.

MARTIN

Excuse me, sir.  Will you please stop talking to me?  I currently have my (insert bad word for the male reproductive organ) in my hand and for some reason, I do not want to have a conversation with ANYONE right now.  Plus, I have to concentrate.

END SCENE

Henry....please don' be that stranger.  I must try harder.  This parenting thing isn't easy.  Well, I think this entry is just about done.  Lets check my list of things I wanted to talk about or use in this blog entry:

1. Henry's bowel movements - check
2. Go off on a tangent and talk about peeing at a urinal - check (pretty sure everything after "WEIRD!" would qualify including this list.)
3. Portray an encounter as if it was in a movie script - check
4. Create the word "bloggerista" only if it's not gender specific.  - I think that is a check.
5. Over use parentheses. - check