TV Commercials

1.  They work.
If you combine a hard-driving-screamo Queens of the Stone Age song with footage of a military video game blowing sh!t up, I will buy it.  Case in point: Battlefield: Bad Company 2.  Please enjoy this real loud!



The mixture of the carnage and level of destruction in the gameplay and QOTSA's "You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar But I Feel Like A Millionaire" gave me chills and I immediately wanted to blow some sh!t up.  And guess what?  That's what I do now.  I BLOW SH!T UP.......in a virtual world.

 But Martin, what are you blowing up real good and what do you use to blow things up real good?  I am blowing up just about everything I see.  In this game, everything can be destroyed and it's GLORIOUS!  My instruments of carnage are (but not limited to) rocket launchers, grenade launchers, anti-tank mines, anti-tank missiles, regular grenades, C4, mortar strikes, UAVs, tanks and helicopters.

This game is highly recommended for people who....well......like to blow sh!t up real good.  Like Michael Bay....Katheryn Bigelow....Roland Emmerich.....and the people from the Manhattan Project. Too soon?

The Crazies

1. Do everything TOGETHER!

Overall, I really enjoyed THE CRAZIES.  I felt it is one of the better zombie genre films I have seen.  Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell give great performances as two characters being put through the ringer trying to escape a small Iowa town due to an outbreak.  This outbreak is not SARS or swine flu.  This is one of those outbreaks that cause most of the population to go a little crazy and do some killing.  The action and suspense are top notch along with a handful of cheap scares that should keep you entertained if you appreciate a good zombie movie.  

The only problem I had with the film is regarding one of the main things you should not due during a zombie outbreak.  If you are in the middle of a viral outbreak that turns people into ravenous flesh eating zombies psychotic brainless killers, please do not leave your loved one or ones alone in a room / building / gas station / barn / diner so you can go look for something.  It doesn't matter what you have to go look for.  Guess what?  Two sets of eyes are always better than one.  But, Martin, I am pretty sure I heard something in the barn.  I need to go check it out.  So, I'm going to leave my girlfriend / boyfriend / nagging wife / pregnant wife / pet hamster alone in our house while I go look in the barn.  Fine, do that, dumb hero.  Let me tell you what is going to happen.  While you are in that barn, someone is going to touch your pet hamster inappropriately.  Then, you will have to sprint back towards the house all the while listening to your hamster scream to all the bad things the crazies are doing to it.  Stick together, man.

2. Don't live in Iowa.

First off, why would you want to live in Iowa? Kidding. Second, the government will not flinch to send in special op armed forces to your little town to eradicate you if some bad sh!t goes down. If the government doesn't think that did the job.......they will nuke your small town. But, Martin, I live in a large city in IOWA. The government wouldn't nuke a large city! FALSE! No such thing as a large city in Iowa. You will be nuked. And you thought the mid-west was safe.

Movie: The Crazies

Director: Breck Eisner

Actors: Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Being a soon-to-be Dad

1.  Many sentences spoken to you will start as followed:

• "You just wait until..."
• "Your life will change..."
• "You have no idea...."

 First off, WHAT?!?  My life is going to change?!?  Taking care of a baby human being is going to be vastly different than my current lifestyle?  REALLY!?!  Ok.  Time to tone down the sarcasm.

My wife and I have talked about having kids for quite some time.  During that process, I realized that my life would change. You would be stupid not to.  I knew that many of my hobbies would have to be compromised.  Although, I don't see what would be wrong if my child laid in my lap in the early hours of the morning while I play some video games.  Or I could just put on the baby bjorn and my son and I could watch old episodes of LOST.  Hell, I remember seeing the extremely violent and brutal APOCALYPTO with a few friends in the theatres. A few minutes before the movie started, a family walked in and sat in the front row.  This was several weeks after the release so most of the theatre was empty.  This family had a small child in stroller.  I am talking less than a year old.  And they just let that damn baby cry and cry during that movie.

Also, how many times can people tell me about the lack of sleep I will or will not get?  If I accumulated all the stuff that people tell me (about the wonders and duties of being a parent).....one wonders.....why in the hell should I have a kid?  Most parents just go on and on about the bad, then ends the conversation with a "but it's worth it."  The funny thing is, no one seems flesh out that part of their speech.  Like it is brainwashed into their psyche and don't really know why it's worth it.  Just funny...

Anyway, I am truly looking forward to being a father at the end of NEXT MONTH.  It's hard to believe it is so close now.  It won't be easy.... I have no idea....You just wait until...  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I'm ready.