Pregnancy (continued)

3. We had to have rules at the dinner table.
One would think that a dinner table rule regarding a pregnant woman would be to chew your food properly while you are inhaling the food.  No, that was not the case in our house.  Our rule was....You cannot talk about the size of your uterus at the dinner table.

For dinner time in our house, we try to eat as a family.  "We" includes April, myself and April's brother, Austin, who currently lives with us.  Like clockwork, it always seemed like the best time for April to tell Austin about her doctor's visits or what she has learned from her weekly email regarding her pregnancy.  And I am sorry, but the last thing I want to hear while I am eating my Poppy Seed Chicken is, "my uterus is measuring at 20 centimeters (or is it inches)" or "the top of my uterus is right here (points to the top of her bump)."

During the last part of the pregnancy, April thought she could pull a fast one on me. She started using the term “fundal height”. But that is the same thing and that doesn’t make it any better.


4. The best ice cream to buy for a pregnant woman is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
Why? Because pregnant women are not supposed to eat raw eggs. Cookie dough contains raw eggs. So they can’t eat it! Therefore, it’s all yours!!!!!!! Impregnator – 1, Impregnatee - 0.