Henry Roy (Vol.3)

4.  Henry is high class.  He doesn't sleep in sh!t filled diapers.

There was probably a better way to write that but I chose to go low brow.  So, yeah.  Henry is now a week away from being five months old.  He has been eating solids for 3 weeks and loving it.  There have been several people say, "Oh once he starts eating solid foods, he will sleep through the night."  I get it.  More solid foods in his stomach.  He will be less hungry during the night and therefore sleep through the night.  Well, people....you are wrong!  One thing people don't realize is that King Henry is royalty.  Only peasants and lower class babies sleep with filthy diapers on.  I will paint a picture so that you can wrap your feeble mind around.  More solid foods that go in the mouth of King Henry = more solid waste that comes out of a royal body part that will not be mentioned.  Comprende?  After this happens at 11pm and 2am, the King politely informs us that he must be changed before going back to bed.

5. He changes daily.

One thing that still gets me is how much Henry has changed in under 5 months.  He has basically tripled in size.  He can now intentionally grab toys that are in front of him.  I say "intentionally", because for the past 2 months anything his hands touch, he will automatically grab it.  Supposedly, he has rolled over on three different occasions at his daycare.  We have yet to witness this magical event.  As each day flies by, he is making noises and sounds.  Usually after we make him smile or laugh.  Or when he is talking to his bugs.  We have 2 colorful metal bugs that are attached to springs (which were then attached to the ceiling by an amazing handyman, successful home brewer and extremely well recieved bloggerista (is that a word (also, would that be referring to a female blogger (if that does mean female blogger then it must be a typo)?)?)).  These BUGS dangle and bounce over the changing table.  Henry likes to converse with them while we change him.  I hope he doesn't continue this when he is older.  He may grow up to be one of those people that like to talk to you while you are standing at the urinal.  WEIRD! 

INT - MEN'S PUBLIC RESTROOM - DAYTIME
Martin Roy is using the urinal.  A stranger walks into the bathroom and uses the urinal next to Martin.

STRANGER

Hey, did you see that game last night?  What a great game.  I cannot believe we pulled out the win.

MARTIN

Excuse me, sir.  Will you please stop talking to me?  I currently have my (insert bad word for the male reproductive organ) in my hand and for some reason, I do not want to have a conversation with ANYONE right now.  Plus, I have to concentrate.

END SCENE

Henry....please don' be that stranger.  I must try harder.  This parenting thing isn't easy.  Well, I think this entry is just about done.  Lets check my list of things I wanted to talk about or use in this blog entry:

1. Henry's bowel movements - check
2. Go off on a tangent and talk about peeing at a urinal - check (pretty sure everything after "WEIRD!" would qualify including this list.)
3. Portray an encounter as if it was in a movie script - check
4. Create the word "bloggerista" only if it's not gender specific.  - I think that is a check.
5. Over use parentheses. - check

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (movie)

1. Not every old movie needs to be remade.

The remake that I am referring to came out last year.  It starred John Travolta and Denzel Washington.  Tony Scott directed it.  I finally got around to watching it on Netflix Instant.  Quite frankly, it was forgettable.  The original film was much better.

The funny thing is this could technically not be a remake.  Why? Because the titles are different.  The original was called "The Taking of Pelham One-Two-Three."  The new one is called "The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3."  Good one.  Tony Scott shorten the title by 8 characters.  

Anyway, the original came out in 1974 and starred Walter Mathau and Robert Shaw.  The story revolved around Shaw and his men taking a subway car (and its passengers) hostage in the NYC subway tunnels.  Mathau works as a NYC Transit officer and becomes the impromptu hostage negotiator.  The remake is pretty much the same except the year and the amount of money the baddies want.  Damn inflation...

2. NYC cops can't drive.
At one point in the movie, NYC cops are transporting 10 million dollars to the hostage situation.  The way the movie put it together, it would show Denzel and John negotiating for a few minutes.  You know, character development.  Then, it would cut to these cops in a large convoy speeding through Manhattan trying to get to the subway station before John kills a hostage.  Standard procedure for a hostage movie.  However!!!!  Every single time they cut to the cops ....they wreck.  Its like the movie studio saw the final product and said....."We like it....but there isn't enough car wrecks."  However, the end product just looks like the NYC cops are horrific drivers.  The most absurd scene shows a cop car driving through an intersection smashing into a cab.  The cop car physically plows through the cab, flipping it over the cop car as IT DOES NOT EVEN SLOW DOWN AFTER THE WRECK!  The parting shot just shows this crumpled and turned over cab in the middle of the intersection.  Oh yeah...and it shows the cop car drive off like it hit a pothole.  Ridiculous.  It's funny how small parts of a movie can take you right out it.  Is the cab drive ok?  What about its passengers?  Were there any kids in the vehicle?  Who cares....cut to John Travolta screaming another F-Bomb.

3. Tony Scott wants to make me throw up.
Why can't you keep the camera stationary? I understand in action scenes the camera needs to follow the action. However, there is no need for the camera to circle a single character as he is standing still talking about "the plot." It adds nothing to the film....except this feeling of dizziness. I would understand that you could use it in a movie where the character being circled is confused or disoriented. However, there is nothing exciting about James Gandolfini (he is the mayor) standing on the street, talking to his advisor on what he should do about the current crisis.

One thing I will admit is that I liked Gandolfini's portrayal as the Mayor of NYC.  Most times, mayors are portrayed like heroes and doing everything they can to help save its city and blah-blah-blah.  He is the exact opposite.  He openly talks about how he hates his job and is not running for re-election.  From a few dialogue lines, it seems the Mayor got into some extra-marital affairs and has been dragged through the mud.  I just thought it was an interesting character choice in an otherwise by-the-numbers movie.

Bottom line:  2 out of 5 Stars

 If you want to see a good movie, see the original. If you want to see John Travolta play crazy and throw F-bombs or Denzel play the "every man" ... I guess you should see this movie...

Parenthood.

1. Time is flying by.
I cannot believe its been four months already.  So much has changed in these few short months.  Summer is almost over.  Cool weather is just around the corner.  Football season!  Oh yeah....and our little boy is getting bigger by the second.

Henry is now four months old.  He has grown nearly 5 inches and gained over 10 pounds in that time.  He can now stand with just the slightest help.  Henry is smiling at everything.  To make a long story short...he changes every day.  We think he is only days away from rolling over.

2.  There are not enough hours in the day.
When you think about the actual hours I get to see my son, it's kinda depressing.  When he wakes up in the morning, I usually scoop him up.  We get to hang out.  Make silly faces to each other.  Then, it's time to get ready for work.  After that, I grab Mr. Henry and we head to day care.  This past week was his first at day care.  It is roughly 2 miles from my work, which is nice.  So, we ride together listening to Mike and Mike in the Morning.  Drop him off.  Go to work until 5pm.  April gets off earlier, so she grabs Henry on the way home.  By the time I get home, it is 5:20pm.  That means I only have 100 more minutes before we get Henry ready for bed.  I guess this plays into the whole "time flies" saying.  To me, it is getting worse, too.  As each day passes, Henry is developing more of a personality.  I just want to be part of each special moment of his life.  I don't want to miss a thing.  Oh no.  Did I just quote an Aerosmith song?  Did I just quote an Aerosmith song from the movie Armageddon?  Damn.

Road Trips

1. It will only get more difficult.
Our first family road trip is in the books. I find it odd…but I can use the word “family” now. April and I have been together for over 5 years and have taken many road trips. Mostly back to see her parents. To be honest, I never thought of just April and I as a “family”. Does a “family” have to involve children to be technically classified as a “family”?

We had quite the system on our way up to the Dakotas.  I drove and April sat in the back to feed and keep Henry happy.  It was quite surprising how well Henry just chilled in his car seat.  The first day we spent roughly 12 hours in our vehicle.  The following day was about 8 hours.

Gotta learn sometime!

This trip may just be the last one where we aren't fighting Henry.  I just assume a 1yr old or older is not going to like sitting in a car seat for 4+ hours in a row.  But we shall see.  There will be many more road trips in the future.
2. There are two seasons in Iowa ... or ... Screw you, IOWA!
The two seasons Iowa has are WINTER and ROAD CONSTRUCTION. I didn’t make this up. My wife told me this. It’s funny because it’s true. What trips me out is how they go about road construction. No lie. One entire side of the highway is ripped up, down to the dirt, and is replaced. It also happens at 10 mile stretches. That means both directions of traffic are using one side of the highway. Yep, one lane traveling. No passing for 10+ miles.  Just follow the car (that is always driving 15 mph slower than you) in front of you. To me it seems pretty ridiculous. I have never seen that in Texas.   That is one thing that gets to me on road trips.  Construction.  Bad drivers don't really get to me.  Because they are everywhere.  Not just in the city.  They exist everywhere.  Good thing we don’t have to drive that far through Iowa.