Grilling

1.  You can make desserts on the grill.
I am fairly new at grilling. I have roughly 2 years of experience. Over this time, I think I have created some pretty mean burgers and sliders.  I am so so on steaks.  Didn't grow up on steaks, so I don't ever crave them.  Unlike my South Dakota counterparts in the house.  Steaks...breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner and dinner!  No joke....my teeth hurt whenever I come back from a South Dakota vacation.  My teeth just are not conditioned for that kind of chewing.  Hell, I could chicken all day, though.   Off subject.

Two weeks ago, I found some dessert recipes for the grill.  Most of them were pretty fascinating.  I just never thought of the grill as an instrument to create something sweet.  Needless to say, this has opened the door to food heaven (or is it hell?).

So, here is my gift to you.  PLANKIES!

Line up some twinkies on a cedar plank. (So...you will need twinkies and a ceder plank)

Put some Nutella on those bad boys.  (you will need Nutella for this recipe)

Slap some crushed Oreos on top.  (you will need Oreos, too)

Sprinkle some mini-marshmellows and Heath Bar pieces on top  (you know what you need)

Now all you do is throw it on your grill for 15 minutes on medium-low heat.  BOOM!

Pretty good stuff.  The cedar plank is a pretty cool addition to the twinkies.  I would definitely recommend this for a weekend BBQ party.  Great change of pace.

I am done for the night.  We are heading up to South Dakota in the morning.  And yes, I have been doing teeth exercises the past few weeks.  You can see the teeth marks I have put in our only tree.  Gotta gnaw on something...

Parting shot. Check out my use of the MACRO focus on my old @ss camera!  MMMMMMmmmmmm.

Home Brewing

1.  Don't start this process at 9:30pm....on a week night.
For the past few months, I have wanted to try my hand at home brewing.  Finally, it has happened.   My son got me a home brewing kit and ingredients for my first Father's Day.  What a nice kid, but where did he get $200?  I  should look into that.  Anyway....

The process is quite involved.  Mix the ingredients in water.  Boil for about an hour total.  At one point, seep a certain type of hops for the last 30 minutes.  Then, seep 2 other types of hops the last 10 minutes of the boil.  However, the drawn out process is cooling your mixture....or ...wort (pronounced WERT) down afterwards.   This has to be done b/c you have to add yeast to the wort.  If the wort is over 75 degrees....it will kill the yeast.  You don't want that to happen.  The yeast is supposed to attack the sugars in the wort to create ALCOHOL.  Getting the wort to cool off took quite awhile.  Needless to say...when I finally got it cool...poured it in the glass carboy (glass container where it will ferment for a few days)..and added the yeast....it was about 1AM.  Oh yeah...and you made a big mess in the kitchen.  So, you have to clean that up so the wife doesn't realize what was all involved in the process. 

Good news though.  During the cooling of the wort, I went and gave Henry his midnight bottle and put him back down.  He didn't mind that I smelled like boiled grain.

2.  Your house will smell like grains and hops.
Oops.  It doesn't smell too bad.....if you are used to living in a grain silo.  I kid, but I am sure April will have a candle burning when I go home for lunch.

That's all I got for now.  I hope this beer turns out.  On Monday night, the beer will be transfered to a second fermenter where it will sit until we get back from South Dakota (July 10th).  After that...bottling...at least 7 more days of sitting.  I hope this is wort it.  Oh.....a pun!  Definitely going to end on that.....

Galveston / Fishing

1.  Galveston (and its water) is not that bad.
I give Galveston a hard time.  I'm trying to remember where all this animosity towards Galveston and its beaches came from.  To be honest, I think it started as a child.  We used to go to Surfside Beach all the time because our grandparents lived near the area.  We had tons of fun on the beach...but one of the main things I remembered was how brown the water is.  After traveling nearly 4 years with my previous job, I quickly realized that "most" ocean water is not brown.  Anyway...

Many years later....
Within the first few weeks of dating April (back in the summer '05), she had a friend from the Midwest come visit her.  April mentioned that her friend wanted to go down to Galveston and see the beach.  I suggested she just fill up her bath tub with water and then throw dirt in there.  It would look just like Galveston water.  She laughed and ultimately did not take her friend down there.  Sorry, Galveston economy.

Fast-forward 5 year....
Several weeks ago, the inlaws were in town from South Dakota to check out the baby I created with their daughter.  Ape and I always rack our brains trying to come up with unique things for her parents to do while they are down.  Since Ape's dad is always taking me hunting when I'm in South Dakota, I thought it would be nice to return the favor.  Do something manly.  Cuz I am manly.  So, I decided to hire a fishing guide to take us (me, my bro, Ape's bro and dad) out toward the jetties to fish for half a day.  And you know, I had fun.  Fishing is definitely fun....when you catch stuff.  My bro caught a turtle.  Ape' dad caught a dogfish.  Hell, even I caught a huge bull red.  It was roughly 43 inches long and 29lbs.  It was a ton of fun to reel in.  Don't believe me???  Boom....

2. There are sharks everywhere!
During our 4-5 hour fishing trip, we caught at least 15 sharks.  We had to throw most of them back because you can only keep one shark per person per day (something else I learned).  They are everywhere.  These aren't great whites or anything like that, but I wouldn't want one of those suckers latching onto my leg.  Would you???

This one is a bonnet head shark.  It was one of the smallest. Ape's Dad caught the largest one.  It had to be at least 5 feet long.





3. You can EAT shark!
Did you know this?  I sure as hell didn't.  Check this out.  Shark steaks.... 
Surprisingly, the shark steaks didn't have a fishy taste and grilled up pretty easily.  Plus, there are tons of shark recipes online...

Anyway, I think that's it....



FYI...in a few weeks, the fam will be hitting the road for our annual July 4th trip to South Dakota.  Hopefully, I will be able to share some stories and things learned from that trip.  Like...is it smart to drive 19 hours in a car with a 12 week old human being???  Or....what is the best way to hunt gopher?  Can you hunt gophers with a rocket launcher?  Is it easy to shoot gophers with an assault rifle?  How many gopher pelts does it take to make a gopher fur throw blanket?  Wow, that will look nice in the living room.  I could also make a rug....like those tiger rugs that still have the head attached.  But instead, it would just be this little 2 inch head of a gopher.  What was this post about????  Fishing!!!  I'll end this post with some killer action shots...

Henry Roy (Vol. 2)

2. Henry is my life.
The whole idea behind this blog was to write some funny stuff down that happens to me.  However, I thought it would be unique if there had to structure to my entries.  I didn't want to just write about what happens to me.  I wanted to analyze my experiences and provide a light, funny and a bit skewed opinion or view along with some things that I have learned from said experience.  With that said....

Henry is taking up much of my time these days (no way!).  If I am not at work, I am hanging with Henry.  Or trying to get some rest so that I am energized when H-dog wakes up.  It has been quite an adjustment to get used to the lack of consecutive hours of sleep.  One that I will probably never get used to.   So, I have not had much time to come up with some funny stuff....other than my interactions with Henry.  Lately, I have found it easier to just write random entries at the same time.  Not post them, but just write about what I am thinking about....and slowly piece the entries together.  So, don't worry.  I have several (hopefully funny) entries in the hopper.

But seriously, how can you complain about something like the lack of variety of things to write about when you have this???

3.  I fully understand the term Proud Parent.

I can honestly say you cannot fully understand the term "proud parent" until you are one.  The first few weeks, Ape and I were mostly just trying to survive.  Making sure we did everything right.  We loved Henry instantly.  But he didn't do much except eat, sleep and poop.  We were also not getting much sleep.  So, there wasn't as much time to just sit back and reflect that this little guy was something beautiful we had created.

In the past few weeks that has changed.  Henry has been more active.  He is sleeping in longer intervals.  Also, he has doubled in size and we feel much more comfortable to put him in the car seat and take him with us to run some errands.  And this....is where the proud parent comes in.  Everybody in the store you walk by....has to look in the car carrier.  It's instinct. It's a reflex.  Just like rubbernecking on the freeway.  Everyone does it.  You may yell (in your mind or out your window) at the cars in front of you....."Hey, you basterds!  Just go.  Have you never seen a crash?!?  Speed up!  I want to get home.  I only have 50 more minutes on my commute home!!!!"  But lets be honest.  As you cursed the cars in front of you........you also snuck a peek at the wreck when you drove by it.  You had to.  Plus, everybody loves a little baby.  Because they are cute...and most importantly the strangers don't have to raise it.  It's like windowshopping for diamonds.  So beautiful....but no thank you to the large price tag!  Just looking.

The few times we have been out, we get a lot of comments about our little creation.  I mean a lot.  Ape and I stopped at the Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Katy for dinner this past Friday.  We sat outside because we thought it would be a tad quieter outside and Henry seems calmer outside.  Everyone that walked by had to look our way.  Some woman walked by and said, "I'm sorry, but I had to walk by twice to see your baby again."  (INFLATE EGO button pressed.)  Thank you.  Drop by anytime. 

The next day, we dropped into a hip and trendy coffee shop off of Washington called Catalina Coffee.  We needed a little caffeine to jump start the morning.  Same thing happened there.  Henry is a magnet.  Man, if you are having a bad day....he will change it.  Henry just has to sit and be Henry and he seems to brighten up other peoples lives for just a bit. (Rapidly press INFLATE EGO button.)