Henry Roy (Vol. 5)

7. We have a future hunter on our hands.
Pheasant season starts this weekend.  You know what?  I will just let Henry explain this.  (I will translate) 

Wanna know what I will do if I see a pheasant?!?!?

I will shoot it in the face!!!!***

Then, I will EAT IT!!!!



This is my serious face.

Hunting attire provided by Pickled Lily.  See ya.

*** This translation has been redacted by someone that is not me.

...October 6th, 2010

1.  I am making my 6th batch of home brew.
Very exciting.  The style of beer will be an American Pale Ale.  My motivation is Southern Star's Pine Belt Pale Ale.  It is one of my faves and only made about an hour north of Houston.  That would be the Conroe area.  I found out what the ingredients were in their pale ale and I am trying to replicate it.  Hopefully, it turns out fantastic.  If not....I WILL STILL DRINK IT!  I know what ingredients to use...but how much?  When do I add each hops?  Well, this is an experiment.  So far, all my beers have been quite drinkable.  Everyone that likes beer had said many positive things about the 4 other beers.  Or they are just being nice....

Also, my pumpkin ale (my 5th batch) should be ready to drink this Saturday.  I used about 6 pounds of pumpkin meat in the boil of my beer.  Also, at the end of the boil I threw in cinnamon sticks, allspice and nutmeg.  I am quite curious in how this turns out.

2.  I almost died making my 6th batch of beer.

Or...I came close to becoming a Batman villain.  Which villain?  TWO- FACE!  Is it because it is my 6th batch....made on the 6th day of October....in the 6th year after 2004 (ok..that was stretch).????? 

In the process of making beer, you have to steep grains in water.  Picture a teabag that could hold roughly 4 softballs.  That is what I'm working with.  I am steeping 3 pounds of grain.  When you are done, you take the grains out.  However, the grains retain a healthy amount of water.  So, what you do is "sparge" the grains.  Basically, you put the grain bag in a colander.  Hold it over the boiling pot and pour hot water over the grains.  This new hot water will push the water out of the grains into the pot.  Are you picking up what I am laying down?  However, after you take the grains out, you crank up the heat and get the water boiling.  This takes awhile since you are working with about 3 gallons of water.  Would you like for me to get to the dang point?  Ok.  So, I was "sparging" the grains.  Meaning in my left hand was a large pitcher of hot water.  My right hand held the handle to the large metal colander and 3 pound over a large pot that was heating to a boil.  I poured the water through the grains and just held the colander over the pot of really hot water.  Well guess what? The handle on the colander decided to detach itself from the colander.  Meaning the basket part of the colander along with the 3 pounds of grain "plopped" into 3 gallons of hot as hell water.  The result of this incident drenched my entire right side of my body and face (my cat like reflexes turned my head to the left).  Not to mention the sugar water exploded about 8 feet behind me.  There was water about 4 above my head on the cabinets.  A total mess.  The water also extinguished the flame on the gas stove.  Oh well.  Lesson learned.  Don't use a colander that has a detachable handle.  Ridiculous.  If this would of happened roughly 5 minutes later...I would definitely be looking like Two-Face right about now.  Good thing the water was only around 170 degrees....and not boiling.

Bikram Yoga

1.  It's a conspiracy to buy more towels and washing detergent.
Yes, I did bikram yoga.  Do you know what it is?  For the late person, bikram yoga is also known as "hot yoga."  It is a 90 minute yoga class where you do 2 breathing exercises and 26 yoga poses.  Oh, and the room you are doing all of this in is around 105 degrees and 50% humidity.

 

I really must thank some "friends" that stayed at our house a few weeks ago for this. My "friends" brought it up during their visit. And basically, my "best friend from kindergarten" talked about how great it was. April loves it, too. Me...never tried. Thought it was quite girly. Extremely anti. After they left, my wife hit me up and said..." I wonder what your thoughts on bikram yoga are NOW that your "friend" did it and enjoyed it?" I realized the conversation was going to be a lose/lose situation (for me). You know the conversation where you know you (me) will look like a jerk and complete A-hole at the end?  So, I caved. Thanks, "friends."

Back to my conspiracy theory.  Bikram has to be getting kickbacks from the towel and detergent industries.  I asked April what I needed to bring to a class.  She says:

• A hand towel to wipe your face.
• 2 large towels to put over your yoga mat.  Due to you sweating every ounce of water out of your body.
• Another large towel to put over your car seat on the drive home.  Because your body found some more water to sweat out.

 Do you realize how much those 4 towels weight after a class.  Its about 20 lbs of wet stinky towel.  And you can't just throw those things in the laundry basket!

Overall, I do enjoy the class.  I like that fact that you cannot talk for the 90 minutes in the class.  Quiet time is good, specially in a world that bombards you constantly with phone calls, text messages, emails, tweets, status updates and so many other things.  Yes, I am deep.  Plus, I need to lose some weight.  Over the past few months, I have slowly gained unwanted weight.  I just need to shock the system.  And let me tell you....you do lose weight.  I weigh myself before class and shortly after I get back home.  You do what?!?  What?  I weigh myself before and after class to see how much weight I lost.  That's weird.  That's not weird! I guess the next thing you are going to say is that weighing yourself before and after going to the restroom is weird, too.  Yeah, pretty much.  I don't have to take this.

Henry Roy (Vol.4)

6. We have a future metal head!
This is a first for me!  I have added video to this blog.

No country music for this kid!  (*exhales sigh of relief*)  Ha ha, Tumis Team.  I win!  Actually, don't we all win?!?!?  I should note that I make Henry play the air guitar to Green Day quite often and he usually just smiles and enjoys the noises.  I didn't know he would go crazy if I just added a little head banging to it.

I would like to apologize for the quality of this video.  First off, a woman was behind the camera (love you!).  Second, it was poorly lit.  Third, we didn't know this was about to happen.  Hopefully, there will be more to come.  I need to find a good and hopefully free video editing software.  Any suggestions?

More musical themed bonus shots...

The End!

Henry Roy (Vol.3)

4.  Henry is high class.  He doesn't sleep in sh!t filled diapers.

There was probably a better way to write that but I chose to go low brow.  So, yeah.  Henry is now a week away from being five months old.  He has been eating solids for 3 weeks and loving it.  There have been several people say, "Oh once he starts eating solid foods, he will sleep through the night."  I get it.  More solid foods in his stomach.  He will be less hungry during the night and therefore sleep through the night.  Well, people....you are wrong!  One thing people don't realize is that King Henry is royalty.  Only peasants and lower class babies sleep with filthy diapers on.  I will paint a picture so that you can wrap your feeble mind around.  More solid foods that go in the mouth of King Henry = more solid waste that comes out of a royal body part that will not be mentioned.  Comprende?  After this happens at 11pm and 2am, the King politely informs us that he must be changed before going back to bed.

5. He changes daily.

One thing that still gets me is how much Henry has changed in under 5 months.  He has basically tripled in size.  He can now intentionally grab toys that are in front of him.  I say "intentionally", because for the past 2 months anything his hands touch, he will automatically grab it.  Supposedly, he has rolled over on three different occasions at his daycare.  We have yet to witness this magical event.  As each day flies by, he is making noises and sounds.  Usually after we make him smile or laugh.  Or when he is talking to his bugs.  We have 2 colorful metal bugs that are attached to springs (which were then attached to the ceiling by an amazing handyman, successful home brewer and extremely well recieved bloggerista (is that a word (also, would that be referring to a female blogger (if that does mean female blogger then it must be a typo)?)?)).  These BUGS dangle and bounce over the changing table.  Henry likes to converse with them while we change him.  I hope he doesn't continue this when he is older.  He may grow up to be one of those people that like to talk to you while you are standing at the urinal.  WEIRD! 

INT - MEN'S PUBLIC RESTROOM - DAYTIME
Martin Roy is using the urinal.  A stranger walks into the bathroom and uses the urinal next to Martin.

STRANGER

Hey, did you see that game last night?  What a great game.  I cannot believe we pulled out the win.

MARTIN

Excuse me, sir.  Will you please stop talking to me?  I currently have my (insert bad word for the male reproductive organ) in my hand and for some reason, I do not want to have a conversation with ANYONE right now.  Plus, I have to concentrate.

END SCENE

Henry....please don' be that stranger.  I must try harder.  This parenting thing isn't easy.  Well, I think this entry is just about done.  Lets check my list of things I wanted to talk about or use in this blog entry:

1. Henry's bowel movements - check
2. Go off on a tangent and talk about peeing at a urinal - check (pretty sure everything after "WEIRD!" would qualify including this list.)
3. Portray an encounter as if it was in a movie script - check
4. Create the word "bloggerista" only if it's not gender specific.  - I think that is a check.
5. Over use parentheses. - check

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (movie)

1. Not every old movie needs to be remade.

The remake that I am referring to came out last year.  It starred John Travolta and Denzel Washington.  Tony Scott directed it.  I finally got around to watching it on Netflix Instant.  Quite frankly, it was forgettable.  The original film was much better.

The funny thing is this could technically not be a remake.  Why? Because the titles are different.  The original was called "The Taking of Pelham One-Two-Three."  The new one is called "The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3."  Good one.  Tony Scott shorten the title by 8 characters.  

Anyway, the original came out in 1974 and starred Walter Mathau and Robert Shaw.  The story revolved around Shaw and his men taking a subway car (and its passengers) hostage in the NYC subway tunnels.  Mathau works as a NYC Transit officer and becomes the impromptu hostage negotiator.  The remake is pretty much the same except the year and the amount of money the baddies want.  Damn inflation...

2. NYC cops can't drive.
At one point in the movie, NYC cops are transporting 10 million dollars to the hostage situation.  The way the movie put it together, it would show Denzel and John negotiating for a few minutes.  You know, character development.  Then, it would cut to these cops in a large convoy speeding through Manhattan trying to get to the subway station before John kills a hostage.  Standard procedure for a hostage movie.  However!!!!  Every single time they cut to the cops ....they wreck.  Its like the movie studio saw the final product and said....."We like it....but there isn't enough car wrecks."  However, the end product just looks like the NYC cops are horrific drivers.  The most absurd scene shows a cop car driving through an intersection smashing into a cab.  The cop car physically plows through the cab, flipping it over the cop car as IT DOES NOT EVEN SLOW DOWN AFTER THE WRECK!  The parting shot just shows this crumpled and turned over cab in the middle of the intersection.  Oh yeah...and it shows the cop car drive off like it hit a pothole.  Ridiculous.  It's funny how small parts of a movie can take you right out it.  Is the cab drive ok?  What about its passengers?  Were there any kids in the vehicle?  Who cares....cut to John Travolta screaming another F-Bomb.

3. Tony Scott wants to make me throw up.
Why can't you keep the camera stationary? I understand in action scenes the camera needs to follow the action. However, there is no need for the camera to circle a single character as he is standing still talking about "the plot." It adds nothing to the film....except this feeling of dizziness. I would understand that you could use it in a movie where the character being circled is confused or disoriented. However, there is nothing exciting about James Gandolfini (he is the mayor) standing on the street, talking to his advisor on what he should do about the current crisis.

One thing I will admit is that I liked Gandolfini's portrayal as the Mayor of NYC.  Most times, mayors are portrayed like heroes and doing everything they can to help save its city and blah-blah-blah.  He is the exact opposite.  He openly talks about how he hates his job and is not running for re-election.  From a few dialogue lines, it seems the Mayor got into some extra-marital affairs and has been dragged through the mud.  I just thought it was an interesting character choice in an otherwise by-the-numbers movie.

Bottom line:  2 out of 5 Stars

 If you want to see a good movie, see the original. If you want to see John Travolta play crazy and throw F-bombs or Denzel play the "every man" ... I guess you should see this movie...

Parenthood.

1. Time is flying by.
I cannot believe its been four months already.  So much has changed in these few short months.  Summer is almost over.  Cool weather is just around the corner.  Football season!  Oh yeah....and our little boy is getting bigger by the second.

Henry is now four months old.  He has grown nearly 5 inches and gained over 10 pounds in that time.  He can now stand with just the slightest help.  Henry is smiling at everything.  To make a long story short...he changes every day.  We think he is only days away from rolling over.

2.  There are not enough hours in the day.
When you think about the actual hours I get to see my son, it's kinda depressing.  When he wakes up in the morning, I usually scoop him up.  We get to hang out.  Make silly faces to each other.  Then, it's time to get ready for work.  After that, I grab Mr. Henry and we head to day care.  This past week was his first at day care.  It is roughly 2 miles from my work, which is nice.  So, we ride together listening to Mike and Mike in the Morning.  Drop him off.  Go to work until 5pm.  April gets off earlier, so she grabs Henry on the way home.  By the time I get home, it is 5:20pm.  That means I only have 100 more minutes before we get Henry ready for bed.  I guess this plays into the whole "time flies" saying.  To me, it is getting worse, too.  As each day passes, Henry is developing more of a personality.  I just want to be part of each special moment of his life.  I don't want to miss a thing.  Oh no.  Did I just quote an Aerosmith song?  Did I just quote an Aerosmith song from the movie Armageddon?  Damn.